Thank you for joining me for part two of Jacob’s story. He has a powerful story, and I wanted to break it up a little bit, so you can take it all in.
As the summer progressed after Jacob’s accident, his depression worsened. Since I was not seeing him daily at this point, I did not know how bad things were getting. I did know he was struggling. I prayed for him continually.
In August, he saw a doctor for increased shoulder pain. He was given more pain medication, and I see this as a tipping point for him. It was a small prescription, but it helped ease his physical pain. It also helped him escape the emotional pain of the depression. He wanted this feeling to continue, and he went down a dangerous road.
One rainy Wednesday, he called me and asked for money to be transferred to his bank account for gas and for a co-pay to see the doctor. At this point, I was very concerned about him, so I met him at the doctor’s office. I was not prepared for the sight of my son that day. I knew there were serious things going on with him that day, and I knew that only God could bring him out of it. He was very angry at me for showing up at the doctor’s office even though I paid for his office visit.
After that day, many things changed in our family. As a parent, I knew I could not enable my son any longer, and that meant making hard decisions about finances, his phone, and his access to our home. Tough love is called that for a reason. You spend years nurturing and raising your children. Your heart is not prepared to stop supporting financially when your child makes decisions that are harmful to themselves.
There were days when I did not hear from him again or know where he was. I had a good idea of the general area where he was, but I did not know for sure. For parents who have been in this situation, you know how I was feeling. If you have a loved one who is an addict, you know exactly my thoughts and feelings during this time. It is devastating.
As things unfolded, I shared this with close family and a few friends for support and prayers. This can feel very isolating. Your natural inclination is to withdraw, but you need support and love from others to help you through this valley. If you are alone in this valley right now, I want you to find someone to support you through this valley.
Many Christians do not reach out for fear of judgment by others. This pains me greatly. Last year when I shared about parenting a prodigal, many people messaged me. Most of them had not told anyone. That is not how we should be in the Christian community.
Decisions made by your young adult children are not your fault when they make a bad decision. You can raise them in a Christian home and in church, and they can still use their free will and make poor decisions. It does not reflect on your parenting. You have to cling to the fact that you have poured into them, and it is inside of them. The best thing you can do is to pray and ask others to pray.
Through many difficult circumstances, Jacob decided to go to Crossroads Rescue Mission for Men. He was able to get clean and most importantly, he gave his life back to God.
His story will continue tomorrow. You want to read the next installment. In it, you will see the HOPE in a hopeless situation.